22 posts tagged “philosophy”
A while back, I composed a post about the following book:
The post was entitled : My FIve Love Languages : Expression. It dealt with my love languages, as far as how I tend to express love for someone ... until I get necessary feedback to change based upon their needs.
It has been a while. But I think now is as good a time as any to tackle the other side of the equation: Interpretation. That is, my natural love languages for how I interpret actions as love. More specifically, what makes me *feel* loved.
(Again, I believe it is important to consider natural Expression and Interpretation for both parties involved.)
These will be ordered from most to least, for the languages that make me *feel* loved.
1) Quality Time
I cannot reiterate this enough. Time is priceless to me. Because it is finite, and an unknown quanitity. Any one of us could be dead tomorrow - you just never know.
So spending time with me makes me feel really good. This act is saying to me - you are important enough for me to spend something priceless on. The more time you spend with me, the stronger you are saying this to me.
However, spending *Quality* time with me is important to tell me you love me.
Quality Time to me, is defined as two different things. First, and more concrete - is giving me your full attention. Being in the moment with me. Things that help this are looking me in the eye when you are talking to me. Actively listening to things I say (especially if I am telling you feelings). Responding so that I know I am heard. And hopefully, understood. (or you are trying to at least).
Second, and less concrete - is making me feel like we are in this time together. Its a team thing. An us thing. Us versus them, or Us versus the situation.
I understand that there will be times when people cannot spend as much time together as they would like. And honestly, this is when it is best to up the percentage of Quality Time / Total Time. It mitigates me feeling less important to you, or in your life. Cause I might not be getting much time, but what I do is Quality.
And if, for whatever reason (cause we all know how life is), someone cannot give me much time or quality time ... the other love languages should be upped quite a bit to compensate. Otherwise, Im sliding into Empty Love Tank Mode. Quickly.
2) Words of Affirmation.
There are probably numerous references to this notion on my blog - Flattery will get you *everywhere* with me.
I try really hard when I love someone. I like this to be acknowledged. Consistently. It inspires me to keep on doing the things I am already doing. To do more and better things for them. It helps me know that I am not just wasting my time on something that is not appreciated. (again, notice the time reference).
And in general, I really like getting compliments from someone I care about. I might not always know what to do with them. And kinda brush them off with an "I guess/suppose" or a wisecrack. But thats just because I dont want to be a pompous ass about it. Honestly, Im not sure what to do with compliments a lot. (I know this is an area I need to work on). But this does not mean I am not just *beaming* inside when I get them.
Put both together, and you are fueling my inspiration. And filling my tank with some love.
3) Physical Touch
This is actually a tricky one to place.
When I love someone, their physical touch means a lot to me. It makes me feel good to be touched, even in purely non-sexual ways. It breaks the non-connectedness of any situation and puts you in my sphere of influence, physically. It makes me feel warm and fuzzy.
But I dont *need* it all the time. I will take it all the time, but it is not necessary to make me feel loved.
However! A well timed touch is the perfect solution to make me well up with love. If you time it right with your words or actions, this is a *very* powerful way to reinforce everything else you are telling me. Consider it an amplifier for love. Perfect examples of when you should absolutely touch me:
1) I just shared some feelings with you
2) I just shared something with you that I was nervous/afraid of sharing with you.
3) We just had a fight
4) I am having a really rough day.
5) I just told you I felt like I did something bad/wrong/assy (aka, regret or guilt in my own actions)
Super duper combo points if you touch me while verbally affirming me, after one example above ... then keep doing it for a while of Quality Time. Whammo - Loved.
4) Acts of Service
This one only ranks as high as #4 because I intrepret it a bit differently than the book does.
The book has it as doing mundane tasks - laundry, cleaning, cooking. Doing these types of things for me doesnt really make me feel loved. It will make me think that you are nice and considerate, and that you "dont have to do" that kind of thing. Which is a good feeling.
The only time this is not true is if I feel like I am constantly doing most of the mundane tasks. If you notice this and start pulling your weight, I will feel the love there.
But for me, there are times when an Act of Service is not needed, but makes me feel really loved. It is usually a response to a request or a need of mine. These are very tough to descibe categorically, without giving concrete examples.
I once dated a woman. We were having a rough fight, because she was a spitfire. She had plans to go out that night, and was about to leave. Then she looked at me - noticed how shitty I still felt about the fight. And she called up her friends and cancelled ... to stay with me. We talked for hours. I felt *really* loved right then, due to the act of service (and the quality time).
5) Receiving Gifts
In general, this does not make me feel loved. If your goal is to buy me something to make me feel loved, you dont know me very well. I will think it is very nice. And probably be happy.
But honestly? Most gifts are not that helpful for my Love Tank.
However. If you really want to get me a gift to show you love me? Dont spend money. Give me a card. Write in it some feelings. Make it special some way. Write me an email. Give me something small that made you think of me. (a rock, a branch, a warning label).
Point is, give me a gift that says it is about *me*, for *me*. And you put thought into what that means. Chances are if I love you, and if you do this correctly, I will keep it forever. (You can look through my storage for proof of this). And I will love it and feel happy and loved.
...
Whew. Now I bet that sounds quite complicated right? Well, that is just because most people arent used to having it all laid on a platter in one big chunk. If it is confusing, there is a really simple solution:
Take a deep breath. Put on your empathetic, and calm face. Look me right in the eye. Touch me in some small way. And ask.
Ask me directly what I need to feel loved. At first, I will probably be a bit hesitant, because of a couple of reasons (including sometimes trying to man up for you). But if you can get past that, and then follow through on my needs ... this will eventually go away.
And you will get my trust. And you will make me feel loved. Because even though I told you, you still made the active choice to do it anyway. And that means just as much.
Now.
You might be asking yourself ... what is the purpose of this post? Isnt that very secret sensitive information to be splaying out there? Yes and no.
Purpose:
1) For me. To respond and process my thoughts on the book. Posting is sometimes a way for me to collect my thoughts. (and if I present it to people, I am sometimes forced to be a bit less whimsical or procrastinatory about it).
2) For others. To know that not everyone has the same ways to interpret love. To hopefully take this post and consider that message when you look at the person *you* love.
3) For women. To know that not all men need the same thing.
4) For me. To remember later, in case I ever experience a shift in my natural tendencies. (aka I forget a lot)
5) For others. Anyone else who read the book and was wondering about more concrete examples than it provided. Or a larger scope view.
Use it for good. Use it for evil. Dont use it at all. This is a choice I cannot make for anyone.
Cheers!
Down with Despostitism!
Free the Stickies!
Someone once told me something... it went like this:
"Thats part of being an adult. You make rational judgements. You consider the impacts of what you are doing. You analyze the outcomes. You resist instantaneous gratification, for the long term good."
To which I internalize something like this:
Screw that.
Seems to me that your definition of being an adult means you must be a pompous bastard. Someone so full of their own knowledge and experience, that they believe they know enough to rightfully predict the future. Someone who is over-confident in their worldview. Someone who has lost the ability to *challenge* their own notions of the way the world works.
Someone who is scared.
Scared of going out there and "failing" because they either have a notion of failure, or arent confident enough in themselves to adapt and overcome. Scared of going with their feelings instead of their thoughts.
Someone who does not believe that perception and internalization can be changed. Who does not realize that there is nearly scientific proof of this. And hasnt taken the time to reason it out, through a modicum of knowledge on neuroscience and basic brain functioning.
Someone who takes what society spoonfeeds them, and assimilates. Who doesnt challenge the notions of normalcy. Someone who doesnt want to *be* their own person. Whatever that means.
I could say so much in response to that. But I will just sum it up with ...
Someone who I dont really want to be.
So good luck with you on that one. I refuse to be an adult in your eyes.
And it drives me crazy every time I feel like I flitter towards that person's defintion. It makes me hate that me.
Cause its just not right.
Most people want to buy a house for a couple of reasons:
1) Tax breaks
2) To own property
3) To have something that appreciates.
But me. I dont really care so much about those things. In fact, I would be happy to have a house that just stays at its current value. Why? Because most of the things that other people find important ... dont mean that much to me. Here is basically why I want a house:
1) To buy a kickin amp system and play bass til my windows rattle.
2) To buy a drum set and bang on it all day
3) To listen to my music at loud volumes
4) To accidentally sling around paint and have no one to answer to but me.
5) To make things better that dont really matter to most people (like off-white switch covers on white walls. Gross!!!)
6) So that if I make some odd noise at 3 am (such as I dunno, accidentally knocking over a chair) ... I dont have an eviction threat notice on my door ... when no one had the testicular fortitude or common decency to come talk to me first.
Numbers 1-3 are really important to me. Always have been. There is a certain connection with music that just cannot happen at "Apartment Levels" of volume. I have said this forever.
I recently finished this book:
It was insightful. But honestly, what intrigued me about it, is that I have long held the belief that true communication of love is a multi-process endeavor. Before reading this book, I interpreted it as something like:
To truly communicate love, you must consider how you express and interpret the idea of love. Equally important in a relationship, is to understand how your partner expresses and interprets love. With all four pieces of knowledge, you can get extra information about your relational dynamic, that would not be there with the usual "Love is Universal" viewpoint.
And only at this level of understanding, can you begin to effectively work towards the best way to *communicate* the fuzzy idea of Love. And feel it every moment. And make your partner feel it every moment.
Its a process. A grand process of understanding. Knowing. Bonding.
So with that mindset, a lot of what is in this book resonated. It helped me expand upon my ideas with a more specific breakdown of *types* of communication. Previously, I had not delved this far. But I will attempt to do so now.
First.... My Five Love Languages. Via Expression. (or how I naturally express love to someone). Covered in order from most to least.
1) Quality Time.
This is the centerpoint of how I express love.
I think it partially stems from my viewpoint on time - that it is a commodity that we all have unknown finite quantity of. Therefore, it is important to spend our time wisely. It can *never* be replenished. (and is thus, invaluable).
If I have feelings for someone, I want to spend more time with them. If I love someone, I want to spend a lot of time with them. And if I want to express love to someone, I spend a lot of quality time with them.
Time is easy to understand. I like to be around the person I am in love with *a lot*. This means having them as a central factor in my life. Having them around for the big things, as well as the small things. Being able to experience all aspects of life with them. To me, this is *healthy* and *natural*. (and to me, what isnt healthy is having it be excessively required)
Quality time is a bit more difficult to grasp. Its mostly about giving someone your undivided attention. Or as much of it as possible. Being attentively there for someone. Its an act of saying "You are the most important thing in the world to me right now". Its a very powerful statement to make.
What a lot of people do not seem to understand here, is that time is a silent, implied expression of love. I will spend a little bit of time with *anyone* (cause I do have some level of love for all people). But when I start spending a fair bit of time with someone, its because I care. It is never because I am bored and have nothing better to do - quite the contrary ... I always have a bajillion things I could be doing. So spending time with someone is clearly me saying, "I am doing whatever with you, even though I could rightfully be doing any number of other things.". And at a threshhold - its saying
"I love you".
2) Physical Touch
I am completely weird about personal space.
To me, personal space is *very* important. Which implies that it should only be invaded for a very specific set of reasons. When someone invades my personal space, I usually interpret it as only a couple of things. Thus, I am very careful about how I am around other people's personal space.
This plays out in many ways. If I am unattracted to someone, I often go Jello-Cat on them when they try to be physically affectionate. If I consider myself taken, and some other woman invades my personal space in specific ways ... I feel *very* uncomfortable. (VERY).
In general, I am not a very affectionate person. Most people will tell yout this.
However, when I really care about someone, I am definitely affectionate. This is a way of saying "I am entering your personal space, and allowing you to be in mine, because I care.". And also, "You are different to me than the masses of other people I meet. See - you get personal space privaledges that other people do not."
When I love someone, I will make extra efforts (aka do something that is not very natural to me) to invade their personal space. I want to touch them for no reason. I want to grab their leg for support when they are saying something. I want to run my hands through their hair. To grab them, pinch them, spank them, hold their hand, put my arm around them.
I want to be physically close to them in any and all ways I can.
3) Acts of Service
I am ranking this one higher than it probably should be for one specific reason:
To me, many acts of service are a very concrete way of expressing a deep love.
Again, the centerpoint to this language is my belief about time. When I am performing an act of service for someone, it is giving them a gift of sorts - something intangible. And it usually takes a bit of time, that I could be spending some other way.
Many acts of service that I would perform, are things that I do not inherently enjoy. So when I perform them, I am doing so solely as an expression of love for someone else. (which often makes them enjoyable, or tolerable in a worst case). Its a measure of self-sacrifice, in the name of someone else. Arguably, a cornerstone of Love.
Some acts of service are really small - taking out the trash, driving someone somewhere, running an errand for someone. Some acts of service are really large - I once moved completely moved someone by myself, because she was insanely busy at work and it needed to be done.
Regardless, they are all some level of expressing love.
4) Giving Gifts
I love to give gifts.
I love the whole process of gift giving. The thinking, the visioning, the personalizing, the planning, the secretiveness, the daydreaming about their reaction. Seeing their reaction, especially if you got it "Right" is the best feeling in the entire world. I love that look.
Unlike many people, I really do try to make all of my gifts *very* personal. I do try to go the extra mile, especially for occasion based gifts. For small everyday gifts, its more like a simple "I was thinking about you, and here is something to show it! You mean a lot, thanks!"
Again, this requires time and thought. So again, my value of time comes into play here. Its what seperates a "bought you something" kinda meh-gift, from a "I am giving YOU something" kinda whoa-gift.
And in that subtle difference, is the love. Of a specific person. Because you know them, or pay attention and can articulate that through a present ... of some sort.
Sometimes my gift might be a simple letter to someone. Or making a mundane gift special by writing something on the box. Or leaving them a post-it note in an odd place, for them to find at a later moment. Basically, its all about the thought process for me. And expression of emotions.
5) Words of Affirmation
In general, words of affirmation ranks last for me because all the others are concrete actions.
Actions speak louder than words. I generally use words to expand or clarify on my actions. So if I am speaking all the other love languages, I feel little need to speak this one. It is merely icing on the I Love You cake.
Specifically, I believe that words are completely meaningless, if your actions do not support them. Every now and then, a well placed word of affirmation is good though, because it does tend to make your feelings more readily concrete than actions do. And speaking is *technically* an action.
I usually do a lot of my words of affirmation packed into other languages. Like giving gifts with words (cards, letters, emails, texts, posts). Or spending some quality time just looking deeply into someone's eyes and telling them exactly how you feel.
But overall, the act of affirming in words does not necessarily imply love. Although I think it is a good part of a functional relationship ... I do not have a strong tie between words and expressing love. But that may be a matter of viewpoint/perspective, since I do link this as part of the other languages.
In general, this is my natural tendency for Expressing Love. However, I do try to observe what is working out for my partner, and adjust as needed. This is why the feedback loop is so important. It breaks down artificial barriers of miscommunication, and allows me the *choice* to adjust my love expression based upon the larger goal of it all ...
To make the other person *feel* loved.
After all, isnt that the point anyway?
I stumbled upon 2 articles today that I think are must reads.
Furthermore, I think that if you read them, you will have a better foundation to begin understanding me. Maybe even yourself too, at some point.
Anyway...
How to think: Habits of Happy People
I dont really think about this on a conscious basis. But reading this article made me realize - I do all of that stuff. Daily, as part of being me.
Maybe I dont actively call people with my phone - but I usually spend at least a few hours out of the day just shooting the bull with people. And for sure, I will chit chat with about anyone. About anything.
Expressing gratitude is very important to me. Some people might not always realize it, because a fair portion of what I do is silent gratitude. Im not afraid to say Thank You. Not even 3 times in 5 minutes. Im not afraid to take some extra time to show someone I care. Or that they did something to me I appreciate. I know I would feel warm and fuzzy if someone did the same for me - especially with more than just words.
Random kindness is the best. Im always looking for ways to just inject some kindness into people's day. Whether it be making them laugh or smile. Or maybe telling them how great they are. Or that they just said something phenomenal. Or other things - like talking to the homeless guy, or giving away extra food. Or holding the door for someone. I dunno - its so easy to be kind, if you are not caught up in yourself.
Obviously, this blog is testament to the sheer volume of stuff I write down about my life. Good bad and fluxxing. Yes, I reappraise my life all the time. Its a very important thing to do, in my opinion. I think this prevents stagnation. And dulling that comes with age. Fresh and new and constantly reinventing parts of my life. Yup - its good.
And yes, whenever I must be a pessimist - I am proactive about it. Im fiesty and looking for change in the things that I am not happy with. And Im probably challenging you to change the things you are not happy with too. Sometimes it comes across as combative, but so what.
I look at it mostly like this - Do your best to either accept it, or change it.
Also, The Power of Gratitude.
Oddly enough, I believe I also subscribe to a lot of what is being said in this article. Naturally.
In general, I think a lot of people stop at a simple Thank You. While sometimes, this is sufficient ... I do not think it completely conveys the message. Nor does it consistently tap into the power of gratitude.
This is probably one of the underlying factors as to how a good relationship to me, feels like a competition. To show how much you care for the other person. To make them feel loved, completely.
Its gratitude. Its thinking, planning, saying, doing all the things that show just how thankful you are towards this person. For them being in your life. For them doing whatever it is that they do. For them being them.
And I think its a tragedy that this often happens way too late.
Funny thing is this.
Most of this stuff is trivial to incorporate into your life. TRIVIAL. At first it takes some conscious effort (as does any kind of change), but after a while, its just habit. Think about anything you have changed in your life, and you will see this as a commonality.
Its amazing to me, how far civilization has progressed in terms of technology and things to make our lives better. Yet somehow ... everyone seems to feel like they have no time. Why is that?
Probably because we are spending our time inefficiently. Because everything is easier to do, more accessible, we want to do more. But what we should want to do ...
Is more of the things that truly matter.
And be Happy :)
I will forever try and explain to people why my life is weird, if they ask or it seems relevant. I havent come up with the best exlanation yet, but I think I have a good starting point. It centers around what I would posit, are the penultimates of living.
Perspective:
Wrap your mind around what people take for granted every second.
We are hurtling through an infinite space, on a miniscule ball of dirt and water. Near us, is a huge sphere of epic nuclear explosions, that is the *exact* distance away to facilitate our life in any way imaginable. Across time, this has allowed for us to develop the ability to instantaneously process information in ways that scientists still cannot truly comprehend - even armed with computers that can process information at an exponentially faster rate.
We see, smell, feel, hear ... and respond to uncountable stimuli every moment we live. Effortlessly. And we have even learned how to do it so well, that we can often predict what will happen in the near future. Given the sheer magnitude of options and probabilities, this is no simple task.
Keep wandering along this mindset, and you can clearly see that each and every one of us is either:
- Showered with blessings from the universe, every moment.
- Part of the most unbelieveably random, functional choas ... ever.
And keep in mind that what we know - is less than 1 billionth of reality.
Balance:
Perspective begets balance. Only when you start really considering your place in the universe, and the blessings it conveys upon you (or the chaos of it all, if you choose that route), will you start to consider balance.
It is both easy and difficult to take the perspective thoughts as a justification for living in the moment, every moment. It is also trivial to understand that civilization cannot teach you to do so - because if everyone lived completely in the moment, civilization would die. And well, organisms of all kinds have the primary goal of survival. In short, Civiilization teaches you to behave in ways that ensure civilization's existence.
However, it would be foolish to work solely for the civilization machine.
Thus, I propse this: Live your life every moment as if you *knew* reality would cease to exist in 5 years time. This gives a good balance of rushed focus, and relaxed preparation. At least in my experience - 5 years is the critical amount of time (yours may vary - but it should be neither too short nor too long. No desperate frenzy. No soulless complacency).
You can even make up your favorite way for reality to cease to exist, if you want. For fun! (how about an alien invasion where they Shoompf us all to death with Uber Love Rays, until the fabric of space time dies orgasmically?)
Once you have used perspective to attempt to balance your life ... a lot of stupid cares tend to melt away. Things that you thought mattered, melt away. Things that people told you should matter, also are easier to irradicate.
Confidence:
With a proper balancing, you have eliminated much of the noise in life. You have achieved greater clarity.
Clarity in your wants, needs, desires ... leads towards a direction that has *meaning* to you. And thus, you will be more likely to confidently approach it. Yet, if your confidence falters (which it will at times), you merely revist perspective and balance. The same goes for when you fail (which you will at times).
And once you have mastered internal confidence ... you will own your world.
There is no more simple way to succeed in life than through confidence. At anything you can possibly imagine.
In conclusion ... these three fundamental principals of life set the stage for "the weird". Because it is inherently a part of all the wonderful things that can happen when you confidently approach life through balance and perspective. All of these things *allow* you to experience things as never before. To see potential where others would see none. To try things that might not seem like great ideas because of "long term" problems that we really cannot foresee. To be open to the parts of reality we cannot explain. To be your own you. Whatever that means. To do so with clarity.
And to refuse to be assimilated in the soulless fucking machine, except on your own damn terms.
Recent events, experiences, and interactions have given rise to a wish. A wish that I really would like granted. So I am going to concentrate especially hard. And try my best to send out the vibes, hoping that the Universe will listen.
Simply put, I wish that everyone I know would come to the realization that:
You can't put your life on hold.
Someone recently told me that they wanted to "find themself". What a silly thing to think, really. You are right there. Always have been, always will be. To ignore this, is to take everything too seriously.
Now, you might be thinking, "Arent you taking that a bit too literal?" Well, yes and no. See, I think the first major response I have to anyone who wants to find themselves (especially if they feel they need time to find what they are looking for) is "Come on ... Give yourself more credit!"
If you ignore my literal interpretation above, then it is apparent that you are not who you were years ago. You are also not who you will be years from now. You are a dynamic individual. People change. People grow. People blossom in different ways when they are surrounded by different people. Its a beautiful aspect of humans. Sure, there might be striking similarities, but you are not fundamentally the same person ever, across time and context. You are only as rigidly defined as a person, by as much as you let yourself *think* you are constant.
So the pursuit of oneself is an everlasting journey. It is an unreachable goal, in the grand scheme of things. Thus, the best you can ever do is to not let this pursuit get in the way of living.
Aka - dont try and put your life on hold, with the intent of hunting snipe.
I was also having a conversation with a good friend. She was telling me about some of her problems. Some of her frustrations. And I listened. After a while, said plainly:
"You have always worked too much. This leaves no time for many of the other things in life. Time to do those things will benefit you in ways that you cannot imagine. Let me ask you a question ... if I were a Doctor, and I told you that you were going to die in a month, how much would you work?"
Her reply was that she would probably quit her job tomorrow.
If you find any empathy for her, then you both need to take a step back. You're brilliant - so use that intelligence to properly evaluate your internalized truths with respect to what society tells you to do. When you do this exercise, you may see that you are living your life out of tune with your internalized priorities.
Im not advocating quitting your job and living every day as if it were your last. Thats preposterously naive. I am asking that you try to better balance work, life, and everything ... in accordance with your own internal priorities. Its easy to get lost in work, especially if you love it. Work is something that almost all of us *have* to do, so we try and make the best out of it. So enjoy it if you can, but do not let that cloud your judgement for the things that really matter to you.
Do not play the safe route, living a life in which your identity is tied to your job. (This is a convenient way of the societal machine keeping itself going). Do not fool yourself into thinking that you are doing this because you love it, if what you are really doing is avoiding all the difficulties and uncertainties in the rest of your life. (Work is rather straightforward compared to most things). Get out there and live your you.
Aka - dont put your life on hold because you were cultured to believe something
You cant do these, or other things that put your real life on hold. More specifically, you *shouldnt*. We all only get one shot at this thing called life, so we should do our best to make it right. (Whatever that may mean to you). But be sure that you are thinking critically about what right is.
I know this is easier said than done. I am no expert at these things myself. I have made these mistakes, in the past. Have flirted with making them multiple times (although I believe I am getting better in my oopses). Probably will make them to some degree in the future. So I am right there with you. But that is why it is so important to me that we all start thinking about this stuff, when given the chance. And follow the everlong, beautifully winding road to ...
Give your personality credit for its dynamically wonderful self.
Give your mind credit for its critically brilliant independence.
Dont put your life on hold.
And damnit ... help my wish get granted.
Lets set the record straight here.
Someone once told me that they thought "Enjoying the simple pleasures of life, such as sleeping and eating ... thats truly living."
And while each person is entitled to their own opinion, I must say - I dont agree. Sleeping and eating are some of the basics on Maslowe's Hierachy of Needs. Aka - you must do them to survive. And so to me, enjoyring those things isnt "truly living". Its making the most of the essential requirements of life (which is inarguably, a good thing). Big difference, in my opinion.
This naturally begs the question, "Ok dude. Then what is truly living?"
Why thank you for leading me!
In my opinion, truly living is something along the lines of:
- Making the most of the little moments you have with people
- Exploring your passions (unleash that badboy on the world)
- Attempting to actualize your potential
- Taking on the ambiguity of life without freezing up.
- Determining your fears, and minimizing their impact on your life.
- Deciding what it is you really want (even if its just to "explore"), and going for it
- Minimizing the repetition of your perceived mistakes. (aka learning)
- Finding yourself. And fucking owning it.
And I am sure there are a myriad other things.
But lets not forget the *most* important part. And that is doing all of the above, while being true to your Youness. Even if it means other people think you are wrong. Sometimes. All the times.
Which means you might sometimes be the absolute *loneliest* person alive. (depending upon what makes you, you). Sometimes you might be the unloneliest person alive (also depeding upon what makes you, you).
But none of that matters, if you are true.
We all get one shot at this thing (as far as we know). And we get a finite number of minutes in that shot. No one really knows what that number of moments is. So you better do your best to make them count. For whatever they *should* count for.
That, is up to you.
When I get more time, I need to explore an idea that wandered through my head today:
There is a huge difference between showing respect for people's feelings and *truly* respecting people's feelings.
Dont let this idea go poof.
