2 posts tagged “men”

I guess today is Me vs. MSN day.

In response to the article Men: How to dress for a first date.

Basically, my overall impression is that Matt Schneiderman is almost completely without a sense of *style*. To be more specific, a personal sense of style. And he is not encouraging much in his readers either.

Im really against most of what he is saying in the article. Point by point:

1) Whatever you do, dont wear khakis

Done and Done. The only thing Matty nailed right on the head in the whole article. Khakis are for yachting people. Prissy people. Boring people. Unless they are a totally rocking pair of khaki-colored pants, they say, "Look at me, my debutante mom taught me how to dress." Trust me, you rarely (if ever) want to say this with your style.

Yes. They are that bad.

A nice pair of jeans, fit well for your body type ... will kill khakis any day of the week. Especially when you coordinate them with your overall look.

2) Give the striped dress shirt a rest.

Standard stripes yes. Stripes with a bit of a pattern to them, where they are irregular in their width and color - usually good.

In case you didnt really look at fashion lately, one thing that has been a recent-ish trend is to wear stripes on stripes. Or patterns on patterns. So if you *must* go with a tie, clash the pattern a bit with your shirt.

If you are totally against stripes (or just cannot pick out a cool striped shirt), then stay with good solids. Pay particular attention to color quality of the shirt. Pay attention to the quality of the fabric. Consider shirts with interesting, but not overdone, texture. And as always - check the fit for what you are trying to say with your appearance.

Finally, in this point he use Kelly Rae to recommend tucking in the dress shirt.

Any man worth his salt knows that there are times to tuck and times to let loose. If its your pet peeve that a man knows this - you have issues, not him. Tucking it in can often show a sign of stuffiness. Or "I just got off of work and put absolutely no consideration into this outfit at all!" (especially if you are doing the unbuttoned collar look.

This is a first date, you want to appear relaxed. You want your date to be relaxed too. You probably wont be going anywhere super nice (cause you are more creative than that, no?). So coming across as stuffy is *very* risky.

3) A little color goes a long way.

Yes. Yes it does.

A good point as to why the striped shirt, done right ... goes a long way. Alternatively, a fairly neutral toned dark shirt with just a slight bit of color really pops out that color.

But ... for the rest of this point?

Color recommendation without knowledge of a person's skin tone is just *DOOMED* to fail. Duh. Anyone who truly wants someone to look good knows this. You can give color ranges to try, but if you are giving fashion advice that contains color advice, add the following recommendation:

"If you are not good with color, your best bet is to grab a woman in the store and have her help you with a certain range of color options you have already selected"

(Bonus: pick the right girl, converse with her correctly, and you might have just bagged another first date. ;) )

And finally ...

A sweater over a dress shirt? That is the fashion equivalent to telling a one legged man to hop through a minefield. Chances are, if he has to read this article, he AINT gonna pull that off correctly.

KABOOM. Dead.

4) Pay attention to your footwear.

Oh yes. Yes yes yes.

This is one aspect of the larger concept of "Pay attention to the subtleties!" If you can pull this off comprehensively, you are saying to her "Ya, I get it."

Basically you dont want a good looking outfit. You want an outfit that makes you look good. And all the small things, thats probably what she is going to remember most about your style anyway. Shoes go a long way for this.

Not to mention, the probability of the woman also liking shoes, and appreciating your attention to your own ... high. Bonus points right there dude.

5) Dont forget the details.

Ya. Its all about these.

Detail style can go a long way to turn an otherwise okay outfit into something remarkable, and memorable. Wear things that show a bit of you. Wear things that attract attention, but arent gaudy.

Another thing you can do is stylize your outfit with subtleties. One quick and easy way is simply in how you do your shirt sleeves (for a dress shirt). This can say a lot about your overall vibe for the night.

Im guessing that any guy who knows what a french cuff shirt is ... probably also knows to wear interesting cufflinks with it. High probability on that one.

Anyway. If I could add one major point to this ... I would say simply:

Be comfortable in what you are wearing. That is ... OWN IT.

This is a vibe thing that will totally skew a lot about the feel of your date. If you are not comfortable in the clothes you are wearing, you have a lot of work to do to ensure that doesnt get conveyed to your date.

Also, one great reason to occasionally buy more expensive stuff that makes you feel good. Because again, that will translate to those around you.

Ya, thats style basics by moi.

I was standing in line at the local Safeway. Tall woman cashier. Taller dude in front of me.

Dude starts trying to make conversation. He does the whole "How are you doing?" thing. Simple, non-committal. But you could tell by his stance and his voice that it wasnt with simple intent.

Cashier is not looking at him, she is looking down. Gives him the canned reply. He doesnt say anything to grab her attention. And a moment of silence passes. He looks down.

You can feel the awkward level creep up a notch as he says, "So how is your night tonight?" I mentall shake my head, because well .. Thats the same damn question you *just* asked her. I have never seen that tactic work.

She gives him a brief glance. I got to admit, she had a cold air about her. I was thinking about trying to get her to smile when I got to the front, but I wanted to see how this interaction was going to unfold.

Then she says. "Pretty good, how about yours?" It was like hearing a novice read from a script. It had that kind of feeling in her voice. Really big no-go sign, in my opinion.

Guy does not hear the sign. Instead, in a more loose tone he says, "Great, now that I am off of work!"

At this point I mentally facepalmed. Oh man, I felt for this guy. It just kept getting worse and worse. And the awkwardness of the whole situation was thick like London Fog in a horror movie. I could swear that my shoulders were cringing waiting for the murderous blow.

He quickly replies with, "Oh. Ooops." At least he caught how dumb he just sounded. (you could tell that it wasnt a coy play into the next quip to make her giggle. It really was a DOH moment). A pregnant pause.

"Well, maybe later y-..." He says.

And Just STOPS.

I cant imagine a more awkward moment than this. It was Movie-style awkward.  I was watching this guy murder himself, and I felt soooooooo bad for him. it really was that painful. I do have to admit though - it does take a bit of testicular fortitude to carry on with asking someone out, in front of other people, despite how badly a conversation is going. Kudos for TF buddy.

The cashier replies something mostly to herself and the keys she was looking at. She wrings out a chuckle to herself. Then she hands him his receipt, and bids him good night.

And here I am thinking ... Oi.That was painful ...

Didnt you notice the Wedding Ring? Hey man: Pay Attention!