3 posts tagged “emotions”
This song is so amazing, I cant decide if I could write about it forever, or stumble upon my own emotions trying to express the jumble of everything inside.
Its seriously ... Just Perfect.
Unfortunately, I have been inspired to work on a song.
I had already stumbled upon the main instrumental lead (my bass played almost rhythm guitarlike). And have been developing it for a bit. The other week, I played it in response to feelings I was having, and something started taking hold. A lyrical idea came to my mind. So I tucked it away (cause writing lyrics freaks me the hell out!).
Recent events found more lyrics creeping into my emotions. And I just started sitting down today and drafting. I dont have much of a objective opinion here, because the content is *SO CLOSE* to my heart. That aside, I was liking what I saw, however primitive it sat on the paper.
A few hours later, and I am seeing it come together a lot.
Right now, my vision has me playing bass (in my current style), and I have a roughup of the drums for some sections. I created an mp3 of the drums so that I could loop it while playing bass. Then I tried singing and humming some of the lyrics while playing bass over the mp3.
I doubt I want more instrumentation than that. Even three "instruments" is very difficult for me. And I want to try and get this as close to finished as possible - so I do not lose the emotional inspiration spark.
Fortunately, this is the furthest I have *ever* come in writing a song. Which does make me excited a bit. I timed what I have so far at roughly 5 minutes, if I include humming the parts I dont have lyrics for. This is 2 minutes longer than my previously most "finished" song.
However, there are a host of weird things that happen when I play it. I feel sad and emotional, because of the content. But I also feel relieved ... I think possibly because its like expressing myself (even if only to me and the silent universe) in a completely different way. Emptying my insides in a different way that just talking. And this feels good, ish.
A completely new experience that still has a lot to explore.
The funny thing is, I keep coming back to this internal debate.
If I take the pessimistic/realistic viewpoint, I think that I will one day need to learn how to get a handle on my emotions. At the very least, in an immediate reactionary sense. However, if I take the optimistic/realistic viewpoint, I think that the personality traits that make me horrible are also the ones that make me wonderful.
To dig deeper.
I have a tendency to be a very emotional person, in reaction to the events around me. This means a lot of off-the-cuff responses, which are rarely thought out well for the big picture. This is especially the case with people or events I really care about.
Which often means that I get a chance to think about things and realize how poorly I handled something. And then I feel like shit about it, and have to attempt to correct it. Or, even worse - situations blow up in my face.
That is the pessimistic standpoint.
However, I also have the tendency to react with vivacious excitement. Sometimes even about the silliest and smallest things (in other people's opinions). I can often take what some people call mundane, and just be overcome with it. Revel in its greatness. Which, many people have remarked ... makes me seem very positive.
Yet, this also works the other way. Which means some really small things bother me. And when I get bothered, other small things bother me more. Which is usually just a vicious circle that spirals out of control until it explodes. Thus, many people have remarked ... make me seem very unhappy.
Overall, I think this gives the general impression of "Passion" or "Passionate".
That is the optimistic standpoint.
So the questions remain...
Is this good? Can it be changed? Should it be changed? Should it be embraced? Am I out of line, or am I just being me to the utmost me-ness? Can other people tolerate this? Does it matter, so long as there are a select few who can and do?
I dont have these answers. Im not sure I ever will.
Which is ... by and large ... not necessarily a bad thing.
