24 posts tagged “dancing”

This song is so amazing, I cant decide if I could write about it forever, or stumble upon my own emotions trying to express the jumble of everything inside.

 

 

Its seriously ... Just Perfect.

Many people who partner dance look down upon Blues Dancing. They often take an elitist attitude about it, saying that blues dancing is "really easy" because it does not have predefined steps and structure. They also are dismissive, because the dance is "just wiggling".

And some people just dont want to do it because its "too sexy" and potentially  "creepy".

 

Well, I hope to dispell those trains of thought one day.

I just took two workshops from Steven and Virgine. Steven Mitchell has been dancing well over 30 years. He is well known as potentially one of the best Lindy Hop dancers in the world. He has a very innovative style, that incorporates all sorts of dances (even before his 30 years as lindy hopper, he studied jazz, ballet, and modern).

In short, this genius knows how to move. And he brings that to his Blues Dancing, as well as his amazing teaching style.

In two short hours, he had my body screaming for mercy - and I dance about 25 hours a week. If you saw me after a short "routine" you would have though I ran a marathon. But in actuality, I merely travelled 5 feet ... slowly. The thing was, I moved so many muscles in my body, in purposeful and interesting ways.

I worked so hard to make it look so relaxed and easy.

This is often a fundamental aspect of good blues dancing - you spend so much time resisting your own motion and really getting into the floor. Its basically like isometric weight lifting. (this is what gives the dance that sweet molasses look.)

 

And then he took it in a different direction. We switched it from gritty to pretty. And it was

AMAZING

 

I cant even really do it justice by describing what I saw, or what I felt. So I will just let a sample video do the talking for me. Here is Steven and Viriginie showing off a little bit of their style:

 

 

 

 

Now decide for yourself. Do you honestly think that is "easy" and "just wiggling"?

If by any chance, the answer is yes ... I dare you to take one of their classes and then answer the question again.

 

Ladies, you know I love you.

Yet I gotta be honest here. No offense, but I think that a vast majority of the women in the Pacific Northwest are  crazy. No, not your standard girl crazy either. Im talking straight up retarded crazy. 

The final nail in the coffin was last night. I was chatting up a girl (one that I have known to some degree on and off for about half a year). Im making small talk. We get along well - I think she is attractive, she is kinda flirty with me, and well ... she laughs at almost all of my jokes. She even laughs when I make fun of her, "Oh Cinderella, you got to go home at 10 because your coach is turning back into a pumpkin?"

Out of curiosity, I bridge the conversation ...

Me: "So we havent gotten a chance to chat in a while. Tell me the scoop - got a good man in your life?"

Her: "No. Im just not finding anyone that I can really connect with..."

Me: *gives inquisitive look, detecting there is more to that story*

She goes on to explain about way older guys being into her. How thats getting all awkward. I listen intently and butt in some standard comments here and there. She turns the question back on me. I explained how I dance a lot, and how that makes dating *very* difficult and convoluted.

Her: "I have never dated a guy who likes to dance."

Me: "Hrm. Why not?"

Her: "Well, I guess it never crosses my mind to think of someone in that direction. And besides, its kinda nice to have a situation where I have my thing (dance) and he has his thing (something notdance)."

 

Hold the phone.

What?!

First of all, girls who dance are silly. They really do not quite grasp the fact that they are surrounded by guys who like to dance - something a helluvalotta girls would die for in a man.

Second of all, I think its really strange that you wouldnt want to share something in common like dance. If you love it, and your romantic interest loves it ... it becomes something you can do together. Thats the stuff that most girls dreams are made of right there.

Unless you are fairly one dimensional, you can still have seperate things to do that are your *own thing*. But dance is a pretty silly one to view this way. I mean, its usually meant to be performed between a guy and a girl. And when you have unabashed feelings for your partner, you open up a whole world of possibilities in dance expression. Finally, you can both work together towards the common goal of getting better (for a dancer, a lifelong pursuit).

I just dont understand the problem at all.

Now, I dont advocate actively looking for someone to date when you are going out dancing. Especially from the male side, that can often lead to mucho creepiness. But I do suggest that you keep your eyes open.

Heck, most relationship experts will tell you that the best way to meet potentially good matches is to ...

Go find an activity that you love to do.

Because it establishes a mutually common ground for conversations and activities. Which is a huge building block for just about any kind of good relationship.

Unless you are crazy. Then those blocks probably wont build anything, except maybe another Winchester House of Mystery. And if thats your thing ...

Maybe you should join the rest out here in the Northwest.

(or not) 

Sometimes, the smallest things have the biggest emotional impact.

 

It happens almost every night, but I still never tire of it. Im dancing with a girl, closed embrace. My arm is lazily wrapped around her torso. The wrap is so completely engulfing that I can hold onto her other side with my hand.

I can feel her every movement. The slightest shift in the position of her ribs. The secondary motion of her hips. The subtle nuances of her shoulders. Her head pressing agains mine, or resting slightly on my neck.

I am distinctly aware when she takes a breath. And she does ... deeply. And then she lets out a huge sigh.

I can feel the smile in her posture.

 

I know she is enjoying the dance. And also, enjoying my scent. Some women are even upfront enough to tell me. "You always smell sooooo good." The words are great, but most of the time, they never have to be said. Cause I know.

 

And this small thing makes me extremely happy.

Why?

 

Because I did not spend all that time selecting a unique and interesting cologne, applying it to all the important spots on my body ...

for my own benefit.

 

Ladies, Im doing it for you. And for just those kinds of moments. And emotions. And your appreciation, only encourages me to continue to do it.

Cause it makes me happy too.

These guys are FUCKING AMAZING:

 

 

 

You have no idea how much money I would pay to be able to move even close to that. Incoporating that into other dance styles (and partner dancing) is one of my main goals.

Here is my current Dance Calendar:

 

 

 

Yes. I dance a lot.

Inevitably, after dancing with someone for the first time or two, they will ask where else I dance. Sometimes its just casual conversation, sometimes I secretly believe its because they want to "accidentally" run into me again (I do both of these things myself, as well).

Then it becomes this crazy explanation of that picture. Not exactly the easiest thing for me to do, or for them to process. Sometimes, I think it would be better for me to print that badboy out on a business card. Then I could just answer the question with ... FwahhBAM! (Cal--en--darrrrrrrred!!!)

That might be a little presumptuous, and pompous. But it would be efficient.

I am compiling a selection of music that I especially feeling. These are song I really want to dance to. For many different reasons.

 

For West Coast:

• The Breaks - The Black Keys
• Non Non Non - Melaaz
• State of Clarity - Guru ft. Common
• Thin Line - Jurassic 5 ft Nell Furtado
• Put Your Hands on Me - Joss Stone
• Good Time - Leela James
• Rock the House - Gorillaz
• Sexy Can I - Ray J
• Gold Digger (edited) - Kanye West
• Keep Me - The Black Keys
• Fine and Free - Guru ft Vivan Green
• Sugar So Sweet - Tyrone Wells
• Id Like To - Corinne Bailey Rae
• Lolli Lolli (Pop That Body) - Three 6 Mafia
• Those Gurlz - Snoop Dogg
• Nice Girl, Wrong Place - Gang Starr
• Day Dreaming - Lupe Fiasco
• Follow My Lead - One Be Lo
• Your Touch - The Black Keys
• Get Down - Rhymefest
• Just Playin (Dreams) - Notorious B.I.G.
• Soul Food - Leela James
• Purple Bounce - DJ Lobsterdust
• Lady Dont Tek No - Latyrx
• Makin It Blend - QTip and Wordsworth
• I Like the Way She Do It - G-Unit
• Culture of Complaint - The Grassy Knoll
• Aint No Other Man - Christina Aguilera
• Gotta Get Thru This - Daniel Beddingfield
• Sugar (Gimme Some) - Trick Daddy

 

 

For Blues:

• Secret - Maroon 5
• Sideways - Citizen Cope
• Baby Dont You Change - Tyrone Wells
• Til It Happens to You - Corinne Bailey Rae
• Basin Street Blues - Kid Koala
• Roads - Portishead
• Ball and Biscuit - White Stripes
• Chloroform - Blue Sky Black Death
• Portrait of Tracy - Jaco Pastorius
• Holdin On - Citizen Cope
• It Could Be Sweet - Portishead
• Got To See You Again - Nora Jones
• The Sea and The Rhythm - Iron & Wine
• My Joy - Leela James
• I Go To Sleep - Sia
• Shoh-Ka - DJ Krush
• Only You - Portishead
• The Arms of A Woman - Amos Lee
• Undress Me Now - Morcheeba
• She Just Wants To Dance - Keb Mo
• The Nearness of You - Norah Jones
• Pretty Baby - San Ilya
• You Have Been Loved - Sia
• Ex-Factor - Lauryn Hill
• Sun Is Shining - DJ Krush
• March Eighteenth - The Grassy Knoll
• When You Love Somebody - Leela James
• They Died for Beauty - San Ilya
• Cold Turkey - Anthony David
• The Church of Whats Happening Now - Sia

 

 

And because this is a music post, I am going to share the top songs from above that best describe my emotions right now:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I just read this article: Leading/Follow Concepts for Partner Dance. It is amazing. I would say it is a must read for anyone who wants to dance. Or dance better.

It hits on a lot of topics that I personally believe, and hold dear. It also re-emphasizes that I am fundamentally moving in the right direction.

 

Lately, I have been learning to follow (mostly in West Coast, but on rare ocasion in Salsa). Some people look at me strangely when I tell them this. Or when I get excited to learn to follow a move I just learned to lead. So the following excerpt really hit home:

Men, to truly lead well you must know the lady's part to every figure you do. Leading and following are very different skills, and following well is every bit as difficult as leading well. Recognizing figures in a noisy, moving environment is a complicated task that is certainly equal to figure transmission. Of course there is one thing the leader does that the follower has no analog for - floor craft. The leader has primary responsibility for obstacle avoidance, and this can be a difficult task, especially on a crowded floor with couples moving at widely differing speeds.

The leader truly has to do everything at once; he's got to listen to the music, decide what to do and how to do it, think not only about his own movements but about his partner's and those of all the other couples, etc., etc. And to make matters worse, when beginning his dancing career the man has to learn how to do everything at once, at once.

Yes, the follower has to be able to perform a lot of actions, but the leader has to be able to perform _and_ initiate them. In addition, there are many variations that differ only in detail matters of raising an arm or not, or something subtle like that, and the leader has to be aware of the differences, and has to indicate clearly where the movement is going.

This also partially explains my most frequent response to women I hear complaining about a bad lead. All too frequently, people want to blame the other for something going awry. But in reality, it is usually a shared fault - because dance is a partnership. It is each of our jobs to adjust to the person we are dancing with. If I ever encounter a follow who is doing something that is countermining my lead, I take time in my next private lesson to ask my instrcutor how to compesate for that.

And my response to the complaining women is, "Have you ever seriously tried to lead?" Which is another way of saying ... "Please cut that guy some slack. He has got a lot going on"

I can take this thought process, because I have tried to follow. And it isnt easy. But it does feel like a complete vacation for me. Because I never really have to think. Just react and try to do what my lead tells me, as best as I can. So my mind is more free from noise, and I can listen to the music more intently, to try and style things. Its also a helluvalot of fun ... because I *never* know what is coming next. Even if it is just simple moves (I should really remember this for when I am worried about boring someone).

Overall, I think that beginning following is easier than beginning leading. But the difficulty evens out much more as you advance in skill level.

 

I also particularly enjoyed this:

Beginning men need a *lot* of help. And the best way their partners can help is to follow their lead, even if it's wrong, rather than "compensating" for a bad lead. This gives the leaders proper feedback. By feedback, I don't mean verbal criticism, but direct feedback in the sense of "I wonder what happens if I push this button?" If the leader doesn't lead or leads something other than what he's supposed to lead, the follower should not compensate and do the right thing despite his lead; she should do nothing, or whatever he *did* lead.

Aka - No Backleading. It robs me of the necessary feedback for me to truly progress. This is why people who take too many classes without going to dances, or only try to do moves *in sequence* with how they learned them ... will not progress as fast.

 

Later on, it also talks about matching moves to your follows skill level. Ahem - why do you think I observe so much when I am out social dancing? Its not because I dont want to dance. Why do you think I try and start off every dance with a new partner, by throwing a pre-determined set of moves? (In Salsa, this would be: Basic. Turn. Cross Body Lead. You can actually tell a lot in just those three moves.)

Both are so that I can get a feel for a womans skill level and our connection. If it is ambiguous after my trial period, I extend it, and throw in slightly more complicated variations of that set.

 

And finally, it stresses the importance of dancing with beginners. I actually noticed the importance of this shortly after I started volunteering to help out the intro Salsa class. Because they are all moves that I could perform in my sleep, and I know the "routine" very intimately ... I get a chance to simply focus on technique and leadership skills. (and unabashedly, lets not forget that it is a great personal marketing investment tool, for when those ladies do get good ;)). Plus, it also gives me a chance to *really* hone in on my adjustment skills ... because some of those beginners are all over the place and I have to react *immediately and personally* to try and still make them look good.

 

Seriously. If I owned a dance studio ... I would keep copies of this lying around, and try to make sure all of my students read it.

I have noticed that it is quite difficult in group classes to retain followers. After much observing from a leads perspective, and a bit of thinking, I have come up with a reason why.

Quite simply, becoming a good follow - and getting consistently asked to dance is a simple process.

Let me break it down for you ladies:

1) Learn the sheer basics. Rhythm, Basic step, basic turns. (This is all you really need as far as footwork)

2) Become proficient in one or both of these two concepts

• Reaction time to a lead. (aka listening)
• Dance frame (posture, tone, connection, moving confidently with your body)

3) Find a lead(s) that is better than you and dance with them repeatedly across time.

If done correctly, Number 2 supercedes any learning of intermediate to advanced moves/patterns. Because when paired with Number 3, you will give your lead a foundation to do his job correctly.

All the rest is just subtleties that you will probably pick up on the dance floor - looking for hands (always), the meaning of hand positions, how to interpret various preps, etc. Most of your key work comes in not interfering with the mans lead.

I have confirmed this many times with women who have never done Salsa before, yet are able to effectively follow leads - beause they are dancers and have a solid grasp on Number 2 from their other dance forms. I have also confirmed this by attempting to follow myself a couple of times.

It really is that "simple".

 

My newest budding Crackpot Theory is that as a person develops their dancing skill, they inherently develop a very personalized "Dance Signature". It is uniquely identifiable, especially if you have danced with them a more than a few times.

The first supporting Crackpot Lemma is that people have a unique signature for any style of communication. Specifically that you can uniquely identify them by voice, or email, or text. This shouldnt be too hard to accept.

Using the Communication Crackpot Lemma as a Corollary, the second Crackpot Lemma is that dancing is a form of nonverbal communication. Thus, it is possible to uniquely identify someone via their dancing.

 

If you can accept this, then it becomes merely a matter of dancing with someone enough times, to learn their dance signature. And thus identify them just based upon how they dance.

 

To test the Crackpot Theory of Dancing, I propose the following spuriment:

1) Blindfold Me

2) Pick  10 random partners that I have danced with more than 10 times.

3) Give me 1 minute with each, and 30 seconds in between to write down who I think it is (so that I can remember for the final drumroll)

 

I am willing to bet that I would be correct at least 80% of the time. And I would put forth that most of the 20% incorrect guesses, would have less than 6 months worth of dance experience.

 

And I would bet it would be tons of effin fun.