Msn: Duh. Seriously, duh.

In response to the article, Earn more than your man? I say something basically like...

Duh.

Just about every tip on there is completely independent of who is the breadwinner in the relationship. Its almost as if the writer decided to slap a topic on a piece after it was written, to fit it into what her editor wanted.

I actually have a couple of experiences dating women who make more than me. It really wasnt too much of a problem. Except when you combine that with women who are also Materialistically High-Maintenance. Then you just go broke trying to keep up.

Anyway ... to the original points of the article.

1) Talk and listen to each other.

Um. This is ubiquitous for a relationship. I cant even believe there is a "study" on this. They will dish out grant money for just about anything now, wont they?

In fact, if I am in a relationship ... I *require* this. If we cannot communicate, and *understand* what is being communicated, the relationship goes downhill fast. Real fast. Real hard. BOOM!

2) Be his biggest cheerleader.

Again. Always.

A woman should be her man's biggest cheerleader. And a man should be his woman's biggest cheerleader. Always. That should go without saying, as part of the act of *caring*. 

And more generally, when I care about someone ... I want to *inspire* them. Both through my cheerleading and my general actions. Encourage and inspire them to be the best them they can be.

3) Open yours, mine, ours accounts.

Yup, you guessed it. Great idea no matter what the financial power teeter-totter looks like.

A lot of people overlook this. And I think it contributes to a lot of little stresses that could be avoidable. Unfortunately, money is quite often a major stressor in relationships. You would be advised to minimize that.

So the real problems arent clouded by other emotions.

4) Focus on the engame.

Um, was this article written for the relationally stunted?

If you arent dreaming together, what are you doing? If you do not have short, medium, and longterm goals/ideas/dreams ... I would venture to say that you dont really have a *relationship*. Or at least, not a really solid or healthy one.

I would say, you are dating. Maybe transitioning towards relationship status.

Cause in my mind, a primary indicator of no future dreams ... is that you really havent considered being with the person past the immediately foreseeable future. Which should make you question your feelings, if this has been going on for a long time.

Basically, you are still in Me Mode. Which doesnt really work well in relationships. Or at least, not for extended periods of time. You can move to Us Mode, without losing yourself. But ... that takes a couple of things - dedication and communication.

5) Recognize that marriage changes things.

Ouch. Did you just slap me in the face with a ginormous log of No Shit, Sherlock?

I have no clue why people would think differently. Unless maybe both of them had been living in a hole for the entirety of their lives, under a rock ... in Greenland. Then it would make sense.

And here I thought I might actually get some insightful information from the article. Ooops.